Talkin' about the club, of course, not myself ... ha,ha. Greetings from Prague! And it's the opening of the NATO summit here. Welcome Tony Blair! Welcome Mr. Putin! And there's this other guy named W that everyone is talking about. Oh yes, and welcome to all the nice boys with stocking masks and slingshots. Seems that some of them are with him, and some of them are against him. I can hear the helicopters as I type ... cops on every corner. It's ok, they're just doing their jobs, you know ... And now from the files of, 'Where the fuck is Ostrava' ... I went to this industrial town, famous for its beer and gypsies, and sang with this blues band. I tore that joint up! There was one street with forty or fifty clubs all in a row. Awesome. And I saw this wild gypsy girl dancing on the corner at midnight. And the musicians took me out for the best wild pig you ever set your lips on. Thanks, boys! After I finished singing and swinging -back to the music - one of them came up to me and said, 'Great song, Ted!'
I was hanging out with this English band called (The) Doves. If you don't know 'em, check them out, because it's moody-good stuff, and they're nice guys, as well. After the gig, all these peoples were staying in the same hotel, on the same night: Prince, Motörhead, Tom Jones, and of course, Doves. What a mix! Winner for the best tatoos: Motörhead. Hands down. And I knew one of their roadies, so at the end of a long evening of carousing, I was trying to convince everyone that Tom Jones should sing with Motörhead! Ha, ha! But they weren't going for it ... And then, as if I wasn't already in the Twilight Zone, as if it wasn't weird enough, I went to the can, looked over, and who was I pissing right next to, but Chris Deburgh! Wow! And I took off around 4 in the morn, walked across the bridge in the pouring rain, hit the main station, and at 5:15 a.m. was on the train to my next destination. In case you're wondering why this episode is titled, "Cologne, 4 a.m.", it's because Chris Deburgh smelled fantastic ... -Todd